Success and Fulfillment

We talk a lot about success and fulfillment in the music world.

We chase it, plan for it, hope for it, and—if we’re honest—sometimes wonder if we’ll ever truly feel it.

One thing I’ve learned through my own career and through coaching so many musicians, though, is this:

Success and fulfillment are directly tied to how kind you are to yourself.

I know that’s not what we were taught.

Most of us were raised in highly competitive environments where being self-critical felt synonymous with excellence. If you were hard on yourself, it meant you cared. If you pushed yourself relentlessly, you’d get better.

But here’s what really happens:

When you’re constantly telling yourself you’re not doing enough…

When you downplay your wins…

When your inner voice sounds more like your worst critic than your most loyal supporter…

You can’t actually see how far you’ve come.

And that keeps you stuck on what I call the Achievement Hamster Wheel—that endless loop of chasing the next gig, the next accomplishment, the next moment of “proof” that you’re good enough…without ever feeling fulfilled.

**Here’s the reframe**

You don’t have to be hard on yourself to grow. It may be true that self-criticism has gotten you to this point, and we can acknowledge that. But let's also acknowledge that kindness can fuel growth in a way self-criticism never will.

Kindness helps you take creative risks.

Kindness helps you recover faster after setbacks.

Kindness creates the internal safety needed to build a career that’s sustainable, joyful, and aligned.

And perhaps most importantly, being kind to ourselves DOESN'T mean we stop striving for excellence or lower our standards.

You can still assess and problem-solve—perhaps even more so because you're not afraid of what you might find! And you can still make something awesome, too, all while you meet yourself with kindness.

So this week, I invite you to notice your inner dialogue.

When you slip into self-criticism, pause and ask:

✨ What would it feel like to speak to myself with kindness here?

✨ What evidence do I have that I’m actually moving forward?

✨ Where can I acknowledge progress instead of perfection?

You deserve a career that feels good, not just one that looks good on paper.

And it all starts with how you treat yourself.